Fashion Figures Tweeting Bullshit

Ok, not ALL. I just spent 20 minutes scanning various fashion personalities’ Twitter streams and was surprised (or not) to find plenty of annoying similarities (on some profiles), like mottoes, words of encouragement and assorted tidbits of wisdom.

As much as my first impulse is to appreciate fashion gods using social media tools and sending us advice that should inspire us, I concurrently feel that they (these soulless profiles) don’t honestly mean or believe what they send. Moreover, I think they are using Twitter to simply enhance their brand (a facade, a public image). It’s bullshit.

I should say now, that not everyone is doing this. Those in the younger spectrum seem to be using Twitter for what it really is, and interacting with fans or peeps they know. Zac Posen does a great job, so does Coco Rocha, Henry Holland and so on. There are plenty of real people on there, and they bring a lovely dimension to their public personas, and I love their brand more for it!

But look at this colorful batch!

Are you kidding me? How old is this guy? He seems to be quoting for a how-to-make-it-big-in-life mixed with an art book. Both a failure. Maybe good for aspiring 13 year olds.

And Carine Roitfeld:

I’m sorry, but I doubt that Carine Roitfeld got where she is now by “being nice to everyone”, being friends with a few and trusting only herself. Come on. She is a hardworking woman, and she in a fashion world. You think she would be absolutely nice to everyone (nudge nudge interns and poor anorexic fashion journalist wannabes)? And what about being friends with a few? Come on, I bet her BlackBerry contact list is exploding with friends.

The only decent quote on her page is this (and I favorited it). Very good point, and I do follow it:

I was horrified to learn that Allie Hilfiger is learning from these automaton Twitter accounts. She’s a youngun and in no way certified to disperse “wisdom” to the rest of us. But this is a free country, so obviously I have no problem with this.

This is actually decent:

Karl Lagerfeld does this thing too, but he’s at least ancient and has seen it all. Moreover, I do love him, and his tweets honestly sound self-produced and in no way fabricated (but then who knows, he may have a better talented ghost-twitterer). I actually favorite a lot of his posts.

I have a couple of questions to those automaton-like fashion celebrity accounts.

• Do they really tweet themselves? I suspect a lot of ghost-tweeting… Heh, interns of the 21st century are also obliged to tweet on their bosses’ behalf.
• Why don’t they interact with their fans? Do they want to stay out of “proletarian”, cheap and accessible-to-all tools like Twitter? Do they not know how to check for mentions?
• Why do they sound so goddamn generic? Is this because of the lack of erudition, personal opinion, personal publicly available opinion?

I am so fascinated by this. I have been thinking about this ever since I stared following Lagerfeld last year. But I truly love him. If anything, he’s best in class at this distant fashion icon tweeting. But others? Come on, others. Disengage or show some personality. Have you noticed any more fashion people doing this? Share. This blog is based on 20 minute long stalking session of certain twitter profiles (and several months of thinking), it’s by no means an exhaustive academic study.

I should also say that I have no doubt that these are wonderful and interesting people in real life (and they are, I know it), but what they’re doing with their Twitter profiles absolutely revolts me. If they started quoting various artists, intellectuals and philosophers from whom they learned (heh, if any), then I would quickly change my mind. Just don’t tweet Deepak, please.

I Hit the Jackpot, or Checkmark One of My Dreams

Four years ago I was sitting in the David Lam library at Sauder School of Business (University of British Columbia, Vancouver) and researched the “enemy” trenches. That is, I was looking at university programs in Toronto, Ontario.

Back then I realized that finance wasn’t for me. I mean, I could do it if I set my mind and heart to it, and I had flashes of success, but I also suffered from delusions. I kind of was lying to myself about financial sector being rewarding enough for me. I think I was doing the finance program to subconsciously appease dad because, really, he wanted to do it in Canada, but couldn’t for many reasons. Anybody who immigrated knows of potential career complications.

But to move to the brighter side: back in January 2006 I realized that I needed to get into advertising (and marketing). I always thought and daydreamed about it, always saw it as the right mix of creative and analytical… Advertising was the way. And since I worked pretty hard to get into west coast’s awesome business school, I didn’t want to give it all up and go into Arts at Ryerson (no offense, but those of you who dealt with either, or both, know what I mean) or start from scratch at OCAD’s Ad program. So I went for Marketing major and Finance minor at Ryerson.

…I got it with no problem, picked my courses, including hindrances like Stats 2 (I already did the whole year in the course of one semester at UBC), ITM 102 and other crap. But I had to suck it up.

In fall 2006 I moved to Toronto with only two suitcases, knew one person in the city well, and lived at a random house for a month. I set out some goals. I networked, I worked hard, I reached my academic goals (Deans list and Golden Key), I always worked part-time, I interned, I hustled and hustled and hustled. There were semesters where every week I only had one day off (and even then I had to study), or none at all. And yet I met the most people and partied harder than ever. I tried my hand at entrepreneurship and whatnot. I also learned as much as I could, asked difficult questions and always checked in with my inner self to make sure I was going the way I wanted to go.

In the past year I’ve steered in a general direction of where I wanted to go but I hadn’t quite hit the advertising agency jackpot. The biggest problem was me refusing to do internships for free. I put 3 hard years into communications, marketing, entrepreneurship, online marketing and social media jobs and positions. I simply can’t afford to not get paid. Who’s going to pay rent and bills; and the student loan? So I sucked it up and kept plowing, waiting for the perfect moment.

NO was not an answer.

Hard work was the way. Meeting people was the way. Marketing myself was the way. Sticking to my word was the way. Sticking to ethical practices was the way. Sticking to my heart was the way. Sticking to health and physical activity was the way. All of a sudden I had the most amazing vision of the future and the most fervor than ever before (recall my December and January posts).

This February I jumped the gun and got an interview at the raddest interactive agency (in my opinion) and wham bam I’m in their strategy team!!!! When I got the offer, I squealed like a piglet on the call with mom.

I worked so fucking hard for this. You guys have no idea how many all-nighters I pulled for business cases, for industry reports, for essays (btw, Philosophy Award, y’all), for all the stuff that I finished for myself or for group mates. Or how much personal life shit I went through in the first three years since my move. There’s a lot of blood that I shed for all this and I’m ready to give up even more, if needed.

Because I AM WHERE I WANT TO BE. All these years I had this vision. And today I am living in it. I have amazing opportunities ahead of me – international, national. Today, more than ever before, I am surrounded by inspiring, intelligent and interesting people. I have a chance to hit the gas pedal and shoot into infinity. Every morning I can’t wait to spring into action. I’m still just learning the ropes at this agency, and I’m thankful for that. Because soon I’ll be thrown into the water and it’s sink or swim from there.

I am lucky, yes. But I also made my luck my whole life.

I also realized that I can do anything I want. I could always have done anything I wanted. With my personality, passion, ideas and drive – the world is seriously my oyster, and crab, and lobster and all kinds of shrimp. Some people fall back on business and other “solid” professions because they’re scared. Or because they’re pressured into it. Or what-ever. Doesn’t matter. Other people are afraid to do something creative or risky because, well, it’s really risky. I can go into anything (well, except medicine) and succeed. This wonderful development in my life just proved that. And made me tad bit more ambitious. Actually, a lot more ambitious.

On that note, my personal development goals now revolve around artistic pursuits. Stay tuned to hear about creative successes.

I’m just gaining speed. I’m just gaining speed.

Chapters and Facebook

Last week Chapters Indigo offered an interesting offer – 25% off your next in-store purchase, all the way up to December 24. You go to their Facebook fan page, become a fan, then print out their unique coupon. Check out the screenshots. This is what you see when you follow the Facebook fan page link I provided two sentences ago.

When you click the “click here” button, an option to share with friends will appear. Of course you don’t have to share, but why would you not, given the holiday spirit and the ease of information dissemination via one simple click?

The moment you hit “Publish” or “Skip” your coupon appears. Notice the “Print” button, which automatically sends the coupon to nearest available printer.I really like the use of social media here!

1. Chapters can measure the success of this campaign simply by monitoring coupon scans, which I’m sure have a special “from Facebook” code on them.
2. Chapters Indigo Facebook fanbase will grow, obviously
3. Chapters minimized the number of steps required in coupon acquisition (I’m always annoyed, but accepting of “Fill out this form…”, “Check your e-mail”, open e-mail, print the e-mail, etc)
4. …And embedded a simple viral factor

Brings thoughts about what Meteor Solutions calls earned media. Those that share the deal with their Facebook friends are effectively participating in the According to them, it’s your content, shared by your customers through email, blogs, and the social web. You can buy as many banner ads as you want, but when your visitors share your message for you… that’s earned media. It’s powerful, it’s growing, and it’s everywhere.

There we go. Maybe I’m so into it because I love reading and Chapters is better at delivering books than Amazon. Oh, and it’s Canadian. Didn’t think I’d ever get to this, but I’m heavy into Canadiana lately. But that’s for another blog post.

Why Doesn’t Every Consumer Staple Company Do This?

In a quest to find a personal hygiene product, a stick deodorant, to be precise, I ventured into Shoppers Drug Mart, which is a Canadian (and better, in my opinion) version of Duane Reade or Walgreens in the US, Jean Coutu in Quebec and London Drugs in the Canadian West.

Walking through the aisles populated by at least one individual lost in thought and intimidated by choice of products that he or she came to buy, I stumbled onto my section. It is important to state that at first I kind of chuckled at old men bent over rows of toothpaste, females ardently arguing over two boxes of hair color which shades looked exactly the same, young guys figuring out bath tub cleaning supplies, and old ladies hovering over stacks and stacks of hand cremes and facial moisturizers. So many choices, so little time, so much uncertainty.

Then I became part of the comedy that I first laughed at. Seriously, how the heck am I supposed to choose an antiperspirant, there are like 50 of them begging for my bucks. OK, there is a gel type and a white stuff type. I pick the white. That’s a start. Then I start taking tiny steps to the right and to the left, unable to choose between two different brands (I felt like trying something different as my previous deodorant wasn’t particularly thrilling).

And then EUREKA. I see the brilliant people behind DOVE screaming their product benefits at me via a very visible sticker on their Ultimate Beauty Care antiperspirant stick (Radiant Silk type, btw). I immediately grabbed it, smelled it, like it, put it in my basket and walked away.

If at least ONE market player explicitly tells me why they’re better than their extremely similar competitors in the consumer staple market, I’m going to go with the loudmouth brand. Thanks Dove, thanks Unilever actually.

The 6 benefits and advantages are, just so I could hopefully inspire you to switch brands:

1. all day wetness protection
2. all day odour protection
3. formulated to stay on skin, not on clothes
4. Dove 1/4 moisturizers
5. smooth & silky application
6. beautiful fragrance

As a relatively unpicky (but quality-seeking) consumer, I want all of those features. But notice something? Every antiperspirant stick brand can make the same claims, perhaps sans the Dove 1/4 moisturizers part, but with their own secret ingredient. We’re talking consumer staples, we’re talking spending 15 minutes deciding between thing A and thing A. It’s almost all the same. And yet Unilever was the only one that explicitly shoved the differentiating factors into my face.

Bravo, you win my $4.39!

Apologetic WestJet

I meant to write this a while back, when I first received the e-mail from WestJet. WestJet, a Canadian low cost (arguably) carrier, e-mailed everyone on the WestJet list and apologized about the new reservations system being glitchy. I personally didn’t notice the glitch as I haven’t been booking flights; also, I don’t see how the system is better than the old one.

So below is the first A note from our President. The company written and sent the second one, and the third one. Apologizing in advance may be an overkill at first, but it definitely softens a consumer’s heart when  he/she does indeed starting having problems booking holiday tickets. I think it’s great that their PR team mobilized and handled the communications so well and prevented an online/offline outburst from so many outspoken Canadians (myself included). See the full message below. And follow them on Twitter! And buy flights with them! Maybe we’ll even cross sky paths

Watch Lady Gaga With Me

I had the privilege of laughing my butt and brain off whilst reading this superb analysis of Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance video by my Italian sci-fi-obsessed, Harvard-throttling friend of friends, Ainge. Her livejournal (holy crap, old school!) is friends-only, so you are missing on a lot of entertainment and a drastic increase in sci-fi writing compared to her political science days. Nevertheless! See below, a minute-by-minute commentary.

can i just fucking talk about how fucking sweet lady gaga’s BAD ROMANCE video is? 0:10 – that coat = coatgasm. the fucking glasses! she is on some klaus nomi shit right here.

0:12 – why didn’t i think of having fucking metallic mesh just hanging on my nails like that? i love you, woman. watching the video in real time, that device she hits looked like some security business. pausing it, i see it’s some kind of stereo control. eh. maybe she is trying to be deep by likening a stereo to a doomsday device. you go, gaga.

0:17 – nemiroff vodka. this is why i decide the dude in this is russian. omg, i could totally spoiler you about him right now but i won’t.

0:23 – cyborg coffin pods, omg. if i ever get a thule ski rack (lol what am i gonna be, some kind of suv-drivin vermonter) i am going to spray paint it to look like one of these.

0:29 – bath haus. hot.

0:40 – spiky latex people. do want. i honestly did not know this about myself until seeing this badass lady gaga video.

0:48 – i do believe she just gave herself anime eyes. lady gaga, you are a vision in soft peaches and cool greys. i do not know whether to find you cute or repulsive. i like this about you.

0:52 – that spazzy fingertapping. hot.

0:59ish – the spiky latex people are amazing dancers. it’s like a creepy german new wave broadway musical.

1:05 – first crotchgrab. lady gaga, you are so naughty!

1:23 – rape chic motif begins. i wonder whether i could possibly be critical of lady gaga.

1:32 – see what i mean, latex and jazz hands.

1:50 – lady gaga is being forcibly drugged with what i am assuming is nemiroff vodka, out of a glass that looks lucite. she looks italian in her close-ups.

1:59 – oh, androgyny, you get me every time.

2:03 – lady gaga is wearing the most amazing shit i’ve seen since morrigan in dragon age. she is covered in a diamond chainmail of sorts. it is equal parts baroque and outer space and i am quite taken with it. it is the living dream of every girl who looked up at a chandelier in some italian house and was all “i want a dress and coordinating mask made out of that shit.”

2:15 – lady gaga is emaciated and in prison.

2:17 – but look at that glittering rose epaulet right there.

2:20 – i think this is nemiroff. i wish viggo mortensen was playing his role, but sadly he would never be in a lady gaga video.

2:22 – work it, gaga.

2:26 – i believe she just tugged some air wang, also known as the beataff gesture.

2:33 – seriously, someone’s nonna has her entire headpiece as a fruit bowl somewhere in burnaby, st-leonard, woodbridge, etc.

2:37 – holy fuck it’s not nemiroff, it’s darth malak! and gaga is going to get on his junk.

2:40 – gaga apparently also shakes it in prison.

2:42 – HAIRLESS CAT WITH METAL TEETH. cute and horrifying, much like la gaga. the best villain pet, ever.

2:45 – oh shit he just turned on LOTS OF LAPTOPS. which look a lot like my shitty hp. lady gaga has been sold, presumably on the russian internet.

2:58 – i am not going to shit up this glorious dance sequence with pithy commentary.

3:04 – lady gaga is being presented in an ethereal cage of fishing line and lucite diamonds to the gayest, hottest-looking russian mafia ever. note rosary shoutout at 3:03.

3:06 – PRESS PAUSE AND LOOK AT THOSE SWEET SHOES. all the villain ladies in the next major sci fi series must be issued these shoes.

3:15 – oh, hey there cross. and hello sign of the cross inspired dance move at 3:18. yes, she went to catholic school. she appears to be picking up where madonna left off on that front.

3:21 – that is the most badass lingerie ever in the most badass lingerie fabric ever: metal.

3:25 – don’t you just wanna bronze her for posterity? also, shoes.

3:32 – and now gaga is on some vivienne westwood maria-from-metropolis shit. she is positively encrusted in rhinestones and those shoes are so absurd-hot. i think this is the point where the haters get all “lady gaga looks like a drag queen” because they can’t deal with the fact lady gaga likes to deal in gender superlatives.

3:45 – bearskin train. with head. i have a good feeling about this. this gaga is going to avenge all the alternate futuristic implied sexual slavery gagas.

3:50 – looks like darth malak nemiroff (a hunting man) is ready to play. his vodka on the rocks is like 90% rocks. douche. oh ho ho, gaga’s gonna get him.

4:03 – the dance sequence is as slick as the glossy parkade it’s being filmed in. i like the part where she pounds the ground with her fists.

4:13 – i wish they got a hotter guy for this.

4:15 – yeah, press pause. gaga, pg-13 naked, and those two taxidermies.

4:17 – lights on. lady gaga is the closest thing i’m ever going to get to hot sci fi porn.

4:18 – YES SHE’S SETTING HIS PLACE ON FIRE. guess what my favourite part of waiting to exhale was?

4:25 – how fabulous is that red thing?

4:26 – enjoy your moment, gaga. revel in it.

4:29 – my point about the german new wave broadway musical stands.

4:41 – saint gaga, posing with her handiwork. press pause, print this out, and just worship it.

4:50 – the mood seems more festive now that malak has been defeated.

5:00 – post coital, except she gets her kicks setting the dude on fire. she then enjoys a cigarette and the sparks emitted by her nipples.

Winter Slang. Real Talk.

The time has come and I bestow upon you an injection of new fun words to spice up thy drone speak. Shake it up, add festivities! Thanks, trendcentral!

Gen Pop
n. term used to describe the general population when “bridge and tunnel,” yuppies, tourists or “undesirable” individuals “intrude” upon an event, outing, club or local restaurant
“Did you see that girl on the dance floor wearing purple Uggs? Wow, the gen pop really takes over this place on Saturdays. Let’s go to a dive bar.”

G.O.M.L.
v. acronym for the phrase “Get on My Level;” said when one person both wants to imply that someone else can’t keep up and wants to urge them to catch up
“C’mon, pot bellies are totally in. G.O.M.L., and order some chili cheese fries.”

Cuddy
n. a word used to describe something shady or sneaky
“He’s still listed as single on Facebook, even though they have been dating for, like, three months. That’s so cuddy!”

Curl
v. a new way to crop your pants without cuffing; best for skinny jeans, curling is when you roll the bottoms of your pant legs very tightly two or three times, creating a delicate cinch above the ankle
“If you wanna show off the studs on your boots, you should curl your jeans.”

Guacamole (Personal favorite!)
n. money, cash, or funds
“If we’re going to that bar, I’m gonna need to stop at the ATM to grab some guacamole for drinks.”

Post-Zuckerberg
adj. term used to describe the era of Facebook ubiquity
“In the Post-Zuckerberg era, I never email anyone, well, except for my gram and when I’m trying to dig my way out of funemployment.”

 

PS. In other news, my left foot is infected and quite swollen and I wish I had minion to tug fruit and vegetables up the stairs. I’m extremely lethargic from all the antibiotics I’ve to take.

PPS. Previous thematic post: Summer Slang, August 12

Some Summer Slang For Ya

TrendCentral sent out a new set of hot wordizzles for us all, and I thought I’d share ze love.

Real Talk
n. This phrase is used to highlight that whatever is being said is the actual truth and not the rose-colored variety. One of the most famous users of this expression is v-logger Mr. Chi-City, who tends to drop the phrase every few seconds.
“Real talk, I was so hungover, I slept next to the toilet, real talk.”

Social Notworking
v. Checking your social networking pages while on the job.
“I got caught Facebook stalking by my boss today. I hope he doesn’t get mad I was social notworking.”

Gypster
n. A person who dresses like a hybrid of a gypsy and a hipster.
“There were hoards of gypsters at that Fleet Foxes concert afterparty in Echo Park last night.”

Shress
n. A tunic or shirt that is scandalously worn as a dress; the term has come into use because of the trend of girls leaving the house without a vital component – their pants. (And we’re not talking about mistaking leggings for pants; we mean the bare-legged girls that seem to be just wearing an oversized men’s shirt.)
“Can you believe she wore a shress to school? She looked like she just came from a slumber party.”

Epicocity
n. A word used to describe just how epic (i.e. awesome) something is.
“Did you see Tony jump out of the tree into the swimming pool? It was totally stupid but I gotta say the epicocity level was 10.”

DT
abbr. This strictly means “down to” and originated in the land of texting. Like other phrases that begin at the thumbs of teenage girls, DT has migrated into actual verbal conversations.
“Do you want to go shopping tomorrow?” “DTGS”

Berry
n. A term used to describe a member of the opposite sex.
“See them berries sipping on martinis? They look ripe for a picking.”

Here is the first part in the slang series

Ketel One Strikes Again

Hey guys! If you remember my Ketel One post (or me blabbering about this in person), could you take a couple of minutes to fill out this survey please?

Matchstick is looking for feedback from anyone who may have seen my posting about Ketel One Vodka. If you click on the link below and complete the survey, you will be helping them by donating $2.00 to the Redwood Women’s Shelter, please Click Here to take the short feedback survey. For every survey that is completed, Matchstick will make a $2 donation to the Redwood Women’s Shelter. Your time and feedback is greatly appreciated”

New Slang

I just got my daily dose of awesome via TrendCentral, which in my opinion is the best trend-watching and relevant service out there. All you marketers better get on the end of it. I dream of going to their Trend Schools in New York or L.A. In the past, I have narrowly missed them, but not next year! Interestingly, I started practicing hatecation last fall by eliminating the words “hate”, “don’t like”, “can’t stand” and constructing my sentences differently.

RECESSION-INSPIRED SLANG
Povo (po-vo)
adj. Spawned from the increasing popularity of new HBO series Summer Heights High, the Aussie slang for poor has infiltrated the vocabulary of recessionistas everywhere
“Caroline, I can’t go out to dinner tonight: My pay cut has left me totally povo.”

RELATIONSHIP SLANG
Ex-hole
n. Your ex boyfriend/girlfriend who dumped you via Post-it/text/drop-off-the-face-of-the-earth-disappearing-act and who is now flouncing around town with a new love interest
“I bumped into my ex-hole this morning – she said she was so sorry that she cheated on me, blah blah blah. I wanted to puke.”

Hot Room
n. A social setting that involves a mix of people whose relationships to each other are, well, complicated
“I was sitting next to my current flame and then my ex-hole walked in with his current girlfriend, who I had a falling out with in high school – total hot room!”

DIGITAL SLANG

Geequals
n. Two people who are equal in depth of arcane knowledge
“I knew I had met my geequal when Frank showed me his Star Wars light saber iPhone app.”

Myselfish
adj. A term used to describe people’s need for recognition and self-fulfillment via the Internet. This is accomplished with incessant Facebook status updates and TMI-Twitter feeds, and serves the purpose of making one feel important and/or noticed
“My friends consider my need to Twitter detailed accounts of my trips to Trader Joe’s, the gas station, and my opinions on anything, really, to be annoyingly myselfish. I consider it shameless self-promotion!”

THIS YEAR’S REHAB
Retox (ree-tox)
v. To go back on your New Year’s resolutions and do the opposite of the goals you set for yourself
“Instead of following my resolution to get fit this year, I decided to retox and take up cooking classes instead. Oh well, no one follows New Year’s resolutions anyway, right?”

Smashed Potatoes
adj. Drunk, inebriated, similar to the term “hot mess”
“Sorry I bailed without saying good night, but I was smashed potatoes.”

STREET SLANG
Hate-cation
n. Taking a vacation from being a hater where you are committed to not saying anything bad about anyone or anything; synonymous with “moral cleanse”
“Whatever, I know you have an opinion but just can’t speak your mind because you are on a hate-cation.”

Obama/Not Obama
adj. London street reporters proclaim that our new President has become synonymous with “cool”
“Yeah, that is so Obama!”

Alt-worthy
adj. A term used to describe people or things considered to be cool or trendy
“The pop-up art gallery on Elizabeth Street is alt-worthy.”

Macworld

Since last Monday’s death of my HP, I decided to marry the enemy. No, wait, it began in December when I actually started contemplating getting a Mac. “Once my PC dies, I will most likely get a Mac. It’s time to make the switch.” I jinxed myself. HP died sooner than I anticipated, right after the Christmas bills arrived…

Despite receiving the Rogers employee discount (the same week I quit the company, ending a 2.5 year relationship), it was still a pricey piece of machinery, which I intend to use for more than 2 years. The Apple store guy was a jerk, contrary to my naive belief that they’re all friendly and eager-beaverly want to enlist me in their Mac army. Despite all that, I love it. It’s smooth, sleek, light and empty of the past year and a half. It’s a beauty. I’m even not regretting the lack of a right click button, since the keyboard solves that issue. The opening video that Welcomes you to Macworld in all languages is absolutely bedazzling, a Christmas again.

The only minuses are lack of my music on the hard disk, nonacceptance of mini-DVDs, and no easy switch between languages (or maybe I just don’t know how to to set up the hot keys yet). I am also in the process of getting Mac programs on the computer – please share your recommendations.

Think Outside the Dodecahedron

Here it is again! While reading Sean Moffitt‘s SlideShare Presentation: Word of Mouth – A Prescription for the Bad Economy, I saw a slide which was yet another miracle from the BBDO NY’s office for UK-based The Economist. I understand it’s last year’s, but I don’t get to see many billboards, especially The Economist billboards here in Canada. “Think outside the dodecahedron.” First of all, dodecahedron is any polyhedron with twelve faces, but usually a regular dodecahedron is meant: a Platonic solid composed of twelve regular pentagonal faces, with three meeting at each vertex. Second, ’tis brilliant. I’ve seen the blogosphere really take on the expression. Thirdly, I personally think that the ad is not “telling you to think outside the dodecahedron”, as if you can do it just like that. This is more about the power you will attain by reading The Economist (damn it, I missed the last two issues myself, they’re in Toronto, and I’m in Vancouver until the 2nd). This is thinking about the thinking outside of the box. Squared, cubed. It’s about innovation².

By the way, while we are on the topic, check out the rest of the amazing advertising slogans (following the cut) created for The Economist and selected by Chand Arora. My favorites are highlighted:

Ketel One Wins The Prize

Now, another product that I want to write about before the year is over (considering you’ll be shopping for somethings to help celebrate NYE), hails from Holland. Made with the finest Dutch wheat, grown on the land owned by the distillery itself, distilled through the giant coal chamber for that clean taste and tested by the Nolet family member before escaping the premises, extra premium Ketel One blew my mind. I had the pleasure of trying it for the first time in my life at The Spoke in Toronto, since the pleasant and elegant establishment allowed for the thorough enjoyment of the drink, which is equally classy.

As you know, I am Russian, and the next thing you’ll think is, “Oh, she must love vodka, obviously she likes this.” Wrong. As a matter of fact, I don’t like drinking vodka per se, and never pursued this activitity. Which is why Ketel One took my tastebuds by storm. It’s very clean, ultra smooth and possesses an unoffensive aftertaste (which can’t be said about Absolut). I definitely recommend dirty Ketel One martinis to adorn your Christmas party tables or the wild New Years Eve celebrations that I suspect you’re planning.

Next time I am looking to impress connoisseurs of drink, I will include the Nolet child in my palette, not Li’l Jon-preached Grey Goose that is several grades below KO when it comes to smell and taste.

H2O

In case you are still shopping for last minute Christmas presents, may I suggest the H₂O products for the lovers of bath and body goodies. As a hunter and tester of the best such products myself, I’ve been around the block when it comes to shower gels and hand creams. I bought my mom a Naturally Gifted Collection which has a shower gel, body lotion, spray mist and a body scrub in the Natural Spring scent, which is simply divine! Divine! To add to that, Natural Spring Mineral Bath will sway any bath-loving person: natural sea salts, sea kelp and aloe with magic bubbles! My mom (and I, since I got to try it) absolutely adore it. It is gentle, not overwhelming and wonderfully natural. Yum Yum Yum.

The product definitely aligns with the H₂O concept: “It’s water, but it’s so much more. It’s the thrill you had when you were seven and played Marco Polo in the deep end. It’s the roar of the ocean at night. It’s blue. It’s mysterious, deep and wet. It’s where you wish you were going. It’s personal, comforting, and serene.”

Vancouver store is on Robson & Nelson, Toronto store is in the Eaton Center upstairs. Great if you’re not looking to spend a whole bunch. If you do want to spend a whole bunch, I suggest KORRES natural products.

On Talking Fast

Last week at work a young handsome man of African descent told me that perhaps I should speak a little slower. He said something about 50% slower. I shrugged it off, and said that people can actually adjust to a fast pace, especially if you’re making crystal clear sense. It’s definitely easier to adjust to a faster speech than an accent or incomprehensible blabber; worse yet, it’s incredibly hard to understand a poorly constructed or illogical dialogue.

Now, I’ve looked at the Introduction to the Confessions of an Advertising Man by David Ogilvy, and guess what: “I advised the reader to restrict himself to ninety words a minute in television commercials. It is now known that, on average, 200 words a minute sells more of your product. Pitchmen in open-air markets know this, so they talk fast.” (p. 17) That was in 1988. Twenty years later, I’m willing to bet on 300.

Why am I likening myself to television commercials (obviously, the effective ones)? Because I see myself as the product. My own self. A Brand. Those of you who know me personally (and not), know exactly what I am talking about. I am selling myself, and it usually works. In addition to talking fast, the mind has to be going twice as fast, as I’ve to come up with punchlines, think about possible objections or answers to questions before you get to formulating them. Most of the time, it’s intoxicating to listen to a fast speech :-p My thinking doesn’t stop when my mouth stops. Imagine what a blessing it is when writing exams and papers. Wouldn’t you, as my employer, want to have someone who can outthink the sceptics and plunge into problem-solving before the vast majority does?